Saturday, November 14, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Gold Gloves and Silver Sluggers
Yet another repeat: Phillies shortstop Jimmy "J-Roll" Rollins and center fielder Shane "the Flyin' Hawaiian" Victorino have been named the National League Rawling's Gold Glove winners at their positions. Major League Baseball, by way of voting by league managers and coaches (though they can not vote for their own players), bestows the Gold Glove on the best fielder in each position in both leagues, and Jimmy has won his third in a row, while Shane has his second.
In the olden days of yore, the Gold Glove was most likely given to the player who committed the fewest errors and most helped his team intangibly with his fine defense. Today, such wacky stats as UZR (Ultimate Zone Rating) and RF (Range Factor) are considered. UZR, developed by FanGraphs, determines the number of runs above or below average a fielder is by combining his rankings in "range runs," which quantifies how well a fielder is able to get to balls hit in his vicinity, and "error runs," which takes into account how many errors a fielder makes compared to an average fielder at the same position on the same amount of balls in play. Range Factor, meanwhile, was first developed in 1977 by statistician Bill James, and it represents the number of successful plays a fielder makes per game by combining putouts and assists and dividing that number by innings played. Sorta confusing, but just a more concrete way to more fairly give out the awards in this (slightly post?)-Money Ball era.
As far as the rest of the league goes, my man Carlos "Chooch" Ruiz was robbed behind the plate with the award going to the Cardinal's catcher Yadier Molina, winning his second straight Gold Glove after being an All-Star and compiling some mind-boggling stats, including an ERA of 3.48 for St. Louis pitching when he's the backstop. Also winning for the Cards is Cy Young candidate Adam Wainwright, taking his first. The Dodger's Orlando "O-Dog" Hudson won it at second base (quit throwing balls into the stands Chase Utley!) and Matt Kemp won one of the three outfield awards. San Diego's Adrian Gonzalez won it a first base, beating Albert "Mr. Fucking Perfect" Pujols and a much improved Ryan "Soul Pole" Howard. Washington's Ryan Zimmerman took home his much-deserved first Gold Glove at third base with popularity contest winner, the Mets' David Wright, having an injury plagued season, because he is a Met. Lastly, the final outfield award went to ex-Phil and current Houston Astro, Michael Bourn. We all love Michael Bourn around here. He was the trade that brought Brad Lidge in as our closer, and he is speedy and dangerous and makes every play. Awesome player.
Over in the Junior Circuit, the Twins' Joe Mauer won at catcher, Yankees Mark "Happy Gilmore" Texiera at first base and Derek Jeter at shortstop, the Tiger's and ex-Phillie Placido "Jawbone" Polanco at second base, the Rays' Eva Longoria at third base, Angels' Torii Hunter, Mariner's Ichiro (of course), and B-More O's Adam Jones(!) took the three Gloves for the outfield, and Mark "Perfect Game" Buehrle won on the mound.
Over on the offensive side, only one Phil brings home any hardware. Second baseman Chase Utley won his fourth consecutive Silver Slugger award. He is the cream of the crop and an old school player, great career so far, great season and post-season. I'm glad he's on our side! In the American League, it was the Blue Jays Aaron Hill, who also won the A.L. Comeback Player of the Year Award. Of course Albert Pujols won it at first base, a very tough position and he won it over two guys with more R.B.I.'s than him... not exactly my credentials. But the Silver Slugger credentials are more varied than those of the Golden Glove. Batting average, runs batted in (my personal fave), home runs, slugging percentage, on base percentage, and on base plus slugging percentage! Which is the most important? Well, Albert led in all of 'em except R.B.I.'s. In the A.L. Mark Texiera has the 2009 matching set in Gold and Silver. Atlanta's Brian McCann won it for catcher, and if he hits off other teams like he hits off the Phillies, he deserves it. No surprise that Minnesota's Joe Mauer takes his third SS for the A.L. At shortstop, Florida's Hanley "Hanley, Hanley" Ramirez takes home his second consecutive, while Derek Jeter continues to pile up 2010 post season awards with his fourth Silver Slugger. Over at the hot corner, two SS newbies take the Silver Slugger, as they did the Gold Gloves, Tampa Bay's Longoria and Washington's Zimmerman. Out in the outfield, in the National League, Milwaukee's Ryan Braun gets his second straight while two young Dodger stars, Matt Kemp and Andre Ethier both get their first. In the American League, Seattle's Ichiro takes his third trophy, and known glovesman, L.A. Angel's Torii Hunter gets his first, as does Boston veteran Jason Bay.
Congratulations to all winners, but most especially our Phillies! Great work boys!
What We Do Is Secret
About five years ago I saw a listing on Craigslist looking for punk rock people to come out to L.A. and be extras in the movie they were making about the Germs. Now, I have no particular affinity for the Hollywood punk scene, though as a punk rock historian I appreciate it quite a bit. Still, it was convoluted and short lived, in its original form. In New York in the 1970's, after a couple months in, the press was just picking up on it, so you didn't get less intelligent, less creative, less tortured kids coming out of Long Island after seeing it on the 5 o'clock news and inventing hardcore before the scene could gel. That happened later. But out in Hollywood, they had a comparative scene about a year lagging, so the Sex Pistols had been happening, etc... and fashion punkery had already been engaged. Sure, there were luminaries like X and the Germs, and notable the Weirdos and the Stranglers, but even their best music was deliberate and dirge like, angry and rarely tongue-in-cheek, lacking in the pop sensibilities of their East Coast and English counterparts. You know, albums full of major-chord progression power chords. Worse still was the influx of Orange County, suburban beach punks that dumbed it all down. But still, the Germs, right! When Tit Patrol was living on North Street in Newark, the walls were all spray painted, my breakfast, lunch, and dinner all came in 40 oz. containers, and Video Showplace rented eight VHS tapes for eight dollars for eight nights, so one of our most frequent pick-ups was Penelope Spheeris' "The Decline of Western Civilization", the documentary about the turning of the Hollywood scene from the older artistic nihilists to the younger "get fucked up" crew. The Germs, X, and Black Flag performances are awesome, and the time spent with the bands off stage is even way better, even though the famous scene in which Darby makes breakfast and his "roommate" talks about the dead painter they found was a ruse. Darby's actual roommate was Tony the Hustler, but he didn't want the documentary showing him being gay in any way. In "Decline" Darby Crash is definitely the hero of the movie, but it's a facade. I tried to get Karl to drive me out to Hollywood to audition for the movie, but he had to work, so we didn't do it.
Years later, I'm listening to G.I. and get an inkling to check the Germs movie out. Now, some movies make you uncomfortable in a way that takes away from the film. Todd Solenz's "Storytelling" is a great example. That scene with super-cutie, flat-chested Selma Blair and the large black dude is, for my money, too exploitative and gross. And I like exploitative and gross! "Kids" also is unbelievably sucky in that same "aren't we real, so real and bad" way. Some movies make you uncomfortable in a good way that engages you, "Psycho" being the obvious, and way out of the league, example. "What We Do Is Secret" is not uncomfortable in either of these ways, it's not uncomfortable at all. It's kinda like the Germs meets "Mean Girls." They kept pretty close to the Germs plot as I know it: Two kids gets kicked out of an L.A. hippy Scientology school for "mind control", convincing the other students that they were God and his son, Jesus, they decide to start a band to enact one of their's "five year plan", they recruit valley girls to fill out the band, rename themselves Bobby Pyn, then Darby Crash and Pat Smear, become the Germs (after Nietzsche's "germ of an idea"), play a terrible first show at the Orpheum with the Damned in the audience at which Darby does his best Iggy Pop, gain popularity after Darby cuts the shit out of his chest (also like Iggy) at the Masque, start to draw and incite their audience into riots, make a record produced by Joan Jett, can't get booked due to reputation, Darby breaks up the band and goes to England where he becomes a New Romantic, comes back and forms the Darby Crash Band, who suck, does one more Germs show reunion to make a lot of cash, reveals the telos of his five-year plan as suicide, an intentional heroin overdose, meanwhile, unbeknownst to him, on that same day John Lennon was shot, dooming Darby to obscurity. The whole thing is framed by a pre-suicide Darby interview, conducted by Slash Magazine's Kickboy Face, and Darby narration which is him reading from Nietzsche's "Beyond Good and Evil". He reveals in the interview that his motivation is political, not on a nationwide scale, but on the level of personal relationships. His Germs lyrics are his message, that the only way to succeed on a national or personal level is through fascism, and he is the ideal fascist leader, to his "circle" of friends. Darby is also obsessed with the cyclical nature of things, as shown through the blue "Circle One" Germs logo that he and his band and extended followers wear on armbands or spray paint on the wall or burn into your arm with a cigarette when you are family.
The storytelling of the movie is actually really good, though how accurately it portrays how the characters enacted is in question. They all act like kids, and I guess they were. Unlike the older, more sophisticated New York scene led by artists, poets, and addicts who then made music, these guys were right out of high school, emulating artists and once in a while, becoming one. In Darby's case, relying on the direction of inner demons, and as for the rest of the Germs, it would seem, relying on their belief in Darby and their love of the Germs, in a classic "we're all in this together" mentality. They are all portrayed as wildly naive, babes at Darby's teet, and though he could talk a big game, he was just as naive as anyone. Richard Hell was a manipulator concerned with art and by extension, himself. Darby Crash was a manipulator concerned with himself, and by extension, art. So, they do all this well, and make it well worth watching, but the problem for me lies in this being a movie about punk rock, but not being a punk rock movie. Everybody is a lamb, so tame and self-questioning. The Germs come off as as nice as, or nicer, than me, and far more conservative. When I first heard the story of Darby Crash, it made me uncomfortable. This highly, highly charismatic dude who uses his power to manipulate everyone around him into thinking he is a genius, knowing the whole while he was gonna abandon them all. In real life, he used real-deal mind control techniques derived from L. Ron Hubbard's Scientology, which his high school was theoretically based on, to coerce a group of friends and admirers into a cult-like clique young Darby named Circle One. He idolized Charles Manson, and Circle One was primarily female, and when punk came to Hollywood, this became the Germs fan base. See, in the time elapsed since the seventies, since the first punk rock movement, alot has changed. For one, nothing is musically shocking anymore. The most shocking thing is Lady Gaga because she is pop as fuck but says way iller shit, better said, than Britney Spears or even Saves the Day ever would. What I would consider shocking is a fully functioning real rock and roll band that is all new, all now, but fully aware of their place in American Cultural history. What else has changed is that it is definitely not cool to have minions anymore. It is very not punk rock. Using your charisma to manipulate yourself into a darling persona, no matter how deconstructed, is passe, and not fun at all. What's cool is a non-self aware self-derivative persona that would organically line up and be accessorized by one's own grasp of recent history, (re:pop culture?), and may the best person prosper. This movie is just fun. It doesn't really take you to any given dark side, or give you insight into the depths of Darby's depravity. It just has him as the best writer in his group of friends who managed to pull of some antics, and ended up taking himself too seriously, but it's, you know, based on a true story and so it works.
Interestingly enough, after the movie was made, Shane West, the dude playing Darby, changed his name to Shane Wreck and officially joined the remaining Germs (thirty years older!) to tour and play big corporate events like Warped Tour. I'm pretty sure that that is one big reason why Darby offed himself, so such lameness would never occur with the Germs moniker. If the real Darby Crash had any semi-spoken lyrical theme, anti-institutionalism would be a big one. Even though West looks like a prettier Darby and can emulate the sounds he made, it is a pretty big disgrace. Unlike the Ramones, who I would have happily seen at any age with any bassist (Dee Dee forever, though!), I would only wanna see the Germs with Darby Crash, preferably younger than 22. It's really not the music or lyrics that made the Germs so awesome, it was the conglomeration of what they were saying, when they were saying it, how they were saying it, and who was delivering the message. I like Darby's lyrics, but this is one subject on which I am jaded. I mean, I've heard it said over and over again so many times since, were the Germs really the first to lay that style of lyric down? If so, he definitely has a wildly distinctive lyrical voice that may rank as the most imitated in punk rock, and if so, and it would have been a brave artistic move to expose your pain and especially anger in such an open and vulnerable and visibly poetic way, especially when disco ruled the airwaves. So many years later, these themes and techniques Darby pioneered have been made crude, but his lines are still elegant and the work of a natural. I won't undersell him on this point: Darby Crash was hyper-intelligent. From a very young age he read Hitler, Nietzsche, Hesse, Crowley and crafted his philosophy, or non-philosophy. The real Darby Crash explains, "It's a way of life. Fascist is totally extreme right. We're not extreme right. Maybe there's a better word for it that I haven't found yet, but I'm still going to have complete control . . . One day you'll pray to me." The movie shows Darby using typed lyric sheets as his most frequent form of promotion. Such as:
I'm a lexicon devil with a battered brain
And I'm searchin' for a future-the world's my aim
So gimme gimme your hands-
Gimme gimme your minds
Gimme gimme this-
Gimme gimme tha-yea-yea-t...
I want toy tin soldiers that can push and shove
I want gunboy rovers that'll wreck this club
I'll build you up and level your heads
We'll run it my way-cold men and politics dead...
I'll get silver guns to drip old blood
Let's give this established joke a shove
We're gonna wreak havoc on the rancid mill
I'm searchin' for something even if I'm killed...
Empty out your pockets-you don't need their change
I'm giving you the power to rearrange
Together we'll run to the highest prop
Tear it down and let it drop...away...
There are some good scenes in the movie though. The Germs on air with Rodney on the ROQ is mega-cheesy and funny, and Darby dealing with his homosexuality is precious. This movie would have me believe that he died a virgin! One of the best, most punk aspects of the movie is the near inability of the actors to act. They are at like "Saved By the Bell" levels of acting ability, and that is one thing that makes it more real. Like in Chuck Klosterman says in his "Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs," anything important is inevitably a cliche and probably doesn't reflect reality, but in (not) doing so it actually does reflect reality, which is not very real at all. Maybe the film makers are right on after all. If you watched the movie on YouTube (as I did) and you read the comments (like I did), you're bombarded by the holier-than-thou and punk-as-fuck who voice their insignificant opinions based on their punk rock pedigree that you would assume involves getting shot up by Darby himself, based on their self-righteousness, with Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong as their sacrificial lamb. Don't mind their crassly-typed psuedo thoughts, they're neither here nor there. Some legitimate gripes would include that the Germs all look like models, with Lorna Doom being played by Bijou Phillips. The Germs were young and good-looking, but this layer of gloss would be an example of the bone of contention between the filmmaker and the wannabe complain-o punks. They paint drummer Don Bolles as a happy-go-lucky moron, but I understand he was the compulsive bad dude himself. More to the point, the movie has Darby singing into the mike whenever on stage. I think that the Germs are more well known for Darby's avoidance of the microphone than they are for Darby's suicide or their music. Plus, you could easily get thrown off by the ludicrous dialogue and its hackneyed, amateurish delivery, but why? This is a movie about the Germs, not "Pet Sounds".
Years later, I'm listening to G.I. and get an inkling to check the Germs movie out. Now, some movies make you uncomfortable in a way that takes away from the film. Todd Solenz's "Storytelling" is a great example. That scene with super-cutie, flat-chested Selma Blair and the large black dude is, for my money, too exploitative and gross. And I like exploitative and gross! "Kids" also is unbelievably sucky in that same "aren't we real, so real and bad" way. Some movies make you uncomfortable in a good way that engages you, "Psycho" being the obvious, and way out of the league, example. "What We Do Is Secret" is not uncomfortable in either of these ways, it's not uncomfortable at all. It's kinda like the Germs meets "Mean Girls." They kept pretty close to the Germs plot as I know it: Two kids gets kicked out of an L.A. hippy Scientology school for "mind control", convincing the other students that they were God and his son, Jesus, they decide to start a band to enact one of their's "five year plan", they recruit valley girls to fill out the band, rename themselves Bobby Pyn, then Darby Crash and Pat Smear, become the Germs (after Nietzsche's "germ of an idea"), play a terrible first show at the Orpheum with the Damned in the audience at which Darby does his best Iggy Pop, gain popularity after Darby cuts the shit out of his chest (also like Iggy) at the Masque, start to draw and incite their audience into riots, make a record produced by Joan Jett, can't get booked due to reputation, Darby breaks up the band and goes to England where he becomes a New Romantic, comes back and forms the Darby Crash Band, who suck, does one more Germs show reunion to make a lot of cash, reveals the telos of his five-year plan as suicide, an intentional heroin overdose, meanwhile, unbeknownst to him, on that same day John Lennon was shot, dooming Darby to obscurity. The whole thing is framed by a pre-suicide Darby interview, conducted by Slash Magazine's Kickboy Face, and Darby narration which is him reading from Nietzsche's "Beyond Good and Evil". He reveals in the interview that his motivation is political, not on a nationwide scale, but on the level of personal relationships. His Germs lyrics are his message, that the only way to succeed on a national or personal level is through fascism, and he is the ideal fascist leader, to his "circle" of friends. Darby is also obsessed with the cyclical nature of things, as shown through the blue "Circle One" Germs logo that he and his band and extended followers wear on armbands or spray paint on the wall or burn into your arm with a cigarette when you are family.
The storytelling of the movie is actually really good, though how accurately it portrays how the characters enacted is in question. They all act like kids, and I guess they were. Unlike the older, more sophisticated New York scene led by artists, poets, and addicts who then made music, these guys were right out of high school, emulating artists and once in a while, becoming one. In Darby's case, relying on the direction of inner demons, and as for the rest of the Germs, it would seem, relying on their belief in Darby and their love of the Germs, in a classic "we're all in this together" mentality. They are all portrayed as wildly naive, babes at Darby's teet, and though he could talk a big game, he was just as naive as anyone. Richard Hell was a manipulator concerned with art and by extension, himself. Darby Crash was a manipulator concerned with himself, and by extension, art. So, they do all this well, and make it well worth watching, but the problem for me lies in this being a movie about punk rock, but not being a punk rock movie. Everybody is a lamb, so tame and self-questioning. The Germs come off as as nice as, or nicer, than me, and far more conservative. When I first heard the story of Darby Crash, it made me uncomfortable. This highly, highly charismatic dude who uses his power to manipulate everyone around him into thinking he is a genius, knowing the whole while he was gonna abandon them all. In real life, he used real-deal mind control techniques derived from L. Ron Hubbard's Scientology, which his high school was theoretically based on, to coerce a group of friends and admirers into a cult-like clique young Darby named Circle One. He idolized Charles Manson, and Circle One was primarily female, and when punk came to Hollywood, this became the Germs fan base. See, in the time elapsed since the seventies, since the first punk rock movement, alot has changed. For one, nothing is musically shocking anymore. The most shocking thing is Lady Gaga because she is pop as fuck but says way iller shit, better said, than Britney Spears or even Saves the Day ever would. What I would consider shocking is a fully functioning real rock and roll band that is all new, all now, but fully aware of their place in American Cultural history. What else has changed is that it is definitely not cool to have minions anymore. It is very not punk rock. Using your charisma to manipulate yourself into a darling persona, no matter how deconstructed, is passe, and not fun at all. What's cool is a non-self aware self-derivative persona that would organically line up and be accessorized by one's own grasp of recent history, (re:pop culture?), and may the best person prosper. This movie is just fun. It doesn't really take you to any given dark side, or give you insight into the depths of Darby's depravity. It just has him as the best writer in his group of friends who managed to pull of some antics, and ended up taking himself too seriously, but it's, you know, based on a true story and so it works.
Interestingly enough, after the movie was made, Shane West, the dude playing Darby, changed his name to Shane Wreck and officially joined the remaining Germs (thirty years older!) to tour and play big corporate events like Warped Tour. I'm pretty sure that that is one big reason why Darby offed himself, so such lameness would never occur with the Germs moniker. If the real Darby Crash had any semi-spoken lyrical theme, anti-institutionalism would be a big one. Even though West looks like a prettier Darby and can emulate the sounds he made, it is a pretty big disgrace. Unlike the Ramones, who I would have happily seen at any age with any bassist (Dee Dee forever, though!), I would only wanna see the Germs with Darby Crash, preferably younger than 22. It's really not the music or lyrics that made the Germs so awesome, it was the conglomeration of what they were saying, when they were saying it, how they were saying it, and who was delivering the message. I like Darby's lyrics, but this is one subject on which I am jaded. I mean, I've heard it said over and over again so many times since, were the Germs really the first to lay that style of lyric down? If so, he definitely has a wildly distinctive lyrical voice that may rank as the most imitated in punk rock, and if so, and it would have been a brave artistic move to expose your pain and especially anger in such an open and vulnerable and visibly poetic way, especially when disco ruled the airwaves. So many years later, these themes and techniques Darby pioneered have been made crude, but his lines are still elegant and the work of a natural. I won't undersell him on this point: Darby Crash was hyper-intelligent. From a very young age he read Hitler, Nietzsche, Hesse, Crowley and crafted his philosophy, or non-philosophy. The real Darby Crash explains, "It's a way of life. Fascist is totally extreme right. We're not extreme right. Maybe there's a better word for it that I haven't found yet, but I'm still going to have complete control . . . One day you'll pray to me." The movie shows Darby using typed lyric sheets as his most frequent form of promotion. Such as:
I'm a lexicon devil with a battered brain
And I'm searchin' for a future-the world's my aim
So gimme gimme your hands-
Gimme gimme your minds
Gimme gimme this-
Gimme gimme tha-yea-yea-t...
I want toy tin soldiers that can push and shove
I want gunboy rovers that'll wreck this club
I'll build you up and level your heads
We'll run it my way-cold men and politics dead...
I'll get silver guns to drip old blood
Let's give this established joke a shove
We're gonna wreak havoc on the rancid mill
I'm searchin' for something even if I'm killed...
Empty out your pockets-you don't need their change
I'm giving you the power to rearrange
Together we'll run to the highest prop
Tear it down and let it drop...away...
There are some good scenes in the movie though. The Germs on air with Rodney on the ROQ is mega-cheesy and funny, and Darby dealing with his homosexuality is precious. This movie would have me believe that he died a virgin! One of the best, most punk aspects of the movie is the near inability of the actors to act. They are at like "Saved By the Bell" levels of acting ability, and that is one thing that makes it more real. Like in Chuck Klosterman says in his "Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs," anything important is inevitably a cliche and probably doesn't reflect reality, but in (not) doing so it actually does reflect reality, which is not very real at all. Maybe the film makers are right on after all. If you watched the movie on YouTube (as I did) and you read the comments (like I did), you're bombarded by the holier-than-thou and punk-as-fuck who voice their insignificant opinions based on their punk rock pedigree that you would assume involves getting shot up by Darby himself, based on their self-righteousness, with Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong as their sacrificial lamb. Don't mind their crassly-typed psuedo thoughts, they're neither here nor there. Some legitimate gripes would include that the Germs all look like models, with Lorna Doom being played by Bijou Phillips. The Germs were young and good-looking, but this layer of gloss would be an example of the bone of contention between the filmmaker and the wannabe complain-o punks. They paint drummer Don Bolles as a happy-go-lucky moron, but I understand he was the compulsive bad dude himself. More to the point, the movie has Darby singing into the mike whenever on stage. I think that the Germs are more well known for Darby's avoidance of the microphone than they are for Darby's suicide or their music. Plus, you could easily get thrown off by the ludicrous dialogue and its hackneyed, amateurish delivery, but why? This is a movie about the Germs, not "Pet Sounds".
"Annihilation Man" by Brendan Mullen
Watch "What We Do Is Secret"
Hot Stove! 11/12/09
The Phillies have Placido Polanco, Mark DeRosa, and Adrian Beltre on their third base wish list, according to sources speaking to Jim Salisbury of the Philadelphia Inquirer. Salisbury adds that Chone Figgins and Miguel Tejada are also of interest, but to a lesser degree.
Salisbury notes Korean reports suggesting Chan Ho Park wants to start in 2010. Amaro has heard differently from Park's agent. Starting was a big factor in Park's decision to sign with the Phillies a year ago.
The Baltimore Orioles have expressed interest in Pedro Feliz. With longtome O Melvin Mora heading out at age 38, the Orange Birds (I just made that up) have their eye on several third basemen (including Adrian Beltre, Mark DeRosa, and Feliz), but only after the Phillies have had their pick. I would love to see Pete Happy stay in the area where I can watch him on MASN.
The Braves announced Tim Hudson's extension today, according to Dave O'Brien of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. He says it's a three-year deal worth around $9MM per year, with an option for 2013. Hudson's new deal overwrites the $12MM mutual option he had for 2010.
There's word that the Rays could look into Matsui if they move Pat Burrell.
The Cubs and Rays are still discussing a possible Milton Bradley-Pat Burrell swap, but it doesn't sound like the two sides are close on the money issue. One of the report's sources describes talks as "worse than Chinese water torture."
Pat Burrell, Rays. He's been linked to the Cubs in a possible Bradley swap, though the money doesn't match up and the Cubs would have to flip Burrell or else have ghastly outfield corner defense.
It's a possibility that the Yankees could re-sign both Damon and Matsui, since they still trust Damon's ability to play left field. Matsui, on the other hand, would again be relegated to DH duty, although Cashman notes that another team could view him as an outfielder. Based on comments we heard earlier today, that seems unlikely.
The Phillies are "intent on pursuing Chone Figgins hard," while the Mets are also fans of the Seth Levinson client. The Angels still hope to re-sign Figgins. Joel Sherman of the New York Post has more on the Mets' interest, explaining that moving Luis Castillo would make signing Figgins easier. Sherman thought another reasonable addition for the Mets might be Carlos Lee, but his idea was shot down by Ed Wade and a Mets official.
The Mariners have reached an agreement on a one-year deal with Ken Griffey Jr., according to Larry Stone of the Seattle Times. ESPN's Jerry Crasnick says Junior's new contract is similar to last year's. SI's Jon Heyman says it's a $2MM base with incentives that could exceed $1MM.
Get league-wide Hot Stove action at MLB Trade Rumors.
Salisbury notes Korean reports suggesting Chan Ho Park wants to start in 2010. Amaro has heard differently from Park's agent. Starting was a big factor in Park's decision to sign with the Phillies a year ago.
The Baltimore Orioles have expressed interest in Pedro Feliz. With longtome O Melvin Mora heading out at age 38, the Orange Birds (I just made that up) have their eye on several third basemen (including Adrian Beltre, Mark DeRosa, and Feliz), but only after the Phillies have had their pick. I would love to see Pete Happy stay in the area where I can watch him on MASN.
The Braves announced Tim Hudson's extension today, according to Dave O'Brien of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. He says it's a three-year deal worth around $9MM per year, with an option for 2013. Hudson's new deal overwrites the $12MM mutual option he had for 2010.
There's word that the Rays could look into Matsui if they move Pat Burrell.
The Cubs and Rays are still discussing a possible Milton Bradley-Pat Burrell swap, but it doesn't sound like the two sides are close on the money issue. One of the report's sources describes talks as "worse than Chinese water torture."
Pat Burrell, Rays. He's been linked to the Cubs in a possible Bradley swap, though the money doesn't match up and the Cubs would have to flip Burrell or else have ghastly outfield corner defense.
It's a possibility that the Yankees could re-sign both Damon and Matsui, since they still trust Damon's ability to play left field. Matsui, on the other hand, would again be relegated to DH duty, although Cashman notes that another team could view him as an outfielder. Based on comments we heard earlier today, that seems unlikely.
The Phillies are "intent on pursuing Chone Figgins hard," while the Mets are also fans of the Seth Levinson client. The Angels still hope to re-sign Figgins. Joel Sherman of the New York Post has more on the Mets' interest, explaining that moving Luis Castillo would make signing Figgins easier. Sherman thought another reasonable addition for the Mets might be Carlos Lee, but his idea was shot down by Ed Wade and a Mets official.
The Mariners have reached an agreement on a one-year deal with Ken Griffey Jr., according to Larry Stone of the Seattle Times. ESPN's Jerry Crasnick says Junior's new contract is similar to last year's. SI's Jon Heyman says it's a $2MM base with incentives that could exceed $1MM.
Get league-wide Hot Stove action at MLB Trade Rumors.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Go Phils! Gone Phil.
The first Autumn leaf has done dropped from our Phils tree. Longtime Philadelphia right-hander Brett Myers will not be pursued to return in 2010. After seven years and 73 wins in red pinstripes, the noted hot-head will have a new uniform next year. I always liked Myers, a real red neck who was never scared of Phillies fans, no matter what he did. I liked how he explained his 2006 battery of his wife in Boston, saying he was just trying to get the drunk woman out of the room and it got rough, and that they were both drunk. I understand that. None of the alleged hair-dragging or hitting actually occurred, but Brett is a rough dude. Myers was raised by his father, a boxing promoter and hustler, moving from house to house on the wrong side of Jacksonville. Bad-ass. I like how he saved 21 games in 2007 and was on the hill when we won our first NL East Pennant since 1993. But he'll be in a different city next year, and that is ok. It is super-cool to see a player in any sport that is analogous with a city and uniform and then see him in a different context, a different color. (As long as you can see their face... it's considerably less cool in football or hockey, though the on field ramifications are the same.) It's also nice to not pay him twelve million next year. I hope Brett has a lot of success wherever he ends up pitching. My guess: Detroit What!
Also likely to not be on the roster next year, fan fave Matty Stairs just didn't get it done as well or as frequently as we needed him to, so some other big bruiser or strong righty will probably fill his role. Someone like Jason Giambi or Nomar, vets with good plate discipline for pinch hit situations will be pursued and Matt will be offered a minor league contract, if anything. I loved Stairs' two years with the Phils and his Moonshot in L.A. in 2008 will forever be a part of Philadelphia Baseball lore. He should go DH for some underprivileged club and bestow some wisdom on their young sluggers. My guess: Cleavland.
Our back-up catcher is still and always in flux. Chris Coste was never consistent and Paul Bako is older and even more feeble. So Bako is out and we'll be searching for an actually good backup backstop. Yorvit "El Terrible" Torrealba's name has been bandied about, and we all know it would be good to get him in the second string. If nothing else, he beat the hell out of us for the last two seasons. Too bad we've traded off all our catching prospects behind Chooch - Jason Jaramillo is playing in Pittsburgh and Lou Marson is now famously in Cleavland. Bako should probably retire.
Another guy we got no use for is Eric Bruntlett. Sure, his unassisted triple play was awesome, but that is seriously all he did all year. Any given utility man is worth a try, with Jerry Hairston Jr. being the prime dude. He can play well anywhere and is a serious bench threat. Definitely keep Ben Francisco and Gregg Dobbs on the bench and add Hairston, Torealba, and Giambi/Garciaparra and our second string is doing just fine.
With guaranteed starting pitching in Cliff Lee (picking up his 2010 option was GM Amaro's first order of off-season business), Cole Hamels (simply MUST be better next year than last), probable Joe Blanton's status pending possible arbitration (he'll still be a Phillie next year, he's an innings eater), J.A. Happ (let's see if he wins Rookie of the Year... he's possible trade bait), and Jamie Moyer (needs to go to bullpen), and Pedro Martinez not ruled out for a return bid (also must go to bullpen), Amaro has some decisions to make. So, the Blue Jays still wanna trade Roy Halliday. We'd get him for one year (then he's a free agent) and they'd almost certainly want Happ as well as one of our two outfield prospects and somebody thrown in for good measure. Lee, Halliday, Hamels, Blanton and... let's bring up vaunted prospect Kyle Drabek and on paper we'd have the best starting rotation in the major leagues, well worth the trade with a stacked two thirds young outfield, let's make that deal! And if Drabek still needs to marinate, give Kyle Kendrick or Andrew Carpenter the low pressure five spot.
In the bullpen, Lidge will remain, and it is almost impossible for him to not have a better season this year. Madson will be there. We're in talks to bring back Chan Ho Park, who really did do a good job once he was back in the pen. Scott Eyre is a free agent this season and about to undergo elbow surgery to have those "floating bodies" we've all heard so much about removed. He has stated that if he pitches next year, he wants it to be with the Phils, and we would love to have him, as he was the definition of solid all year for us. With Clay Condrey and Chad Durbin both up for arbitration, Amaro will likely have to cut ties with one of them. Most likely Condrey's smaller price tag and consistency will win him the spot, sending Durbin, a Philadelphia bullpen staple, out into the world. J.C. Romero should be up and running, and with wily veterans Moyer and/or Martinez out there, the pen isn't looking so shabby, if everybody does what they're supposed to... Brad Lidge. Nonetheless, we gotta stock up on possible pen arms for Spring Training and see who sifts out, with J.J. Putz coming off a lame year with the lame Mets he could be affordable and a good rebound, and any other mid-level high possible reward type guys should definitely get a look.
Now, our starting lineup... seven eighths of it will be back for sure. Shane Victorino and Carlos Ruiz are arbitration eligible this off season, and if last years players were any indication, Amaro will try and sign these two up for a while before any hearing takes place. Without Myers twelve mil, and this year we finally get to stop paying Adam Eaton and Geoff Jenkins, we can just pay our guys what they want and deserve. Chooch made an astoundingly low $425,000 this year while being absolutely invaluable behind and at the plate. Jayson Werth, Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, and Raul Ibanez all get raises (as does bench-man Greg Dobbs), and will all be happy and ready to win. J-Roll is of course set at short. The only man out is Pedro Feliz at third. The Phils declined his option and bought out his contract, looking to either pay him less, or more likely find someone who can field AND hit. Pete Happy's disgraceful post season was unacceptable, even to me. Los Angeles Angel's speedster Chone Figgins (pronounced Sean) is at the top of the list, but he is a lead off man, and that is not exactly what we need unless J-Roll or Sugar Shane drop to the seven spot. Adrian Beltre is next in line and possibly the best fit. He can field like Feliz and is a big hitter. Even ex-Phillie Placido "Jawbone" Polanco has been mentioned. Either way it'll be cool to get a little bit of new blood in the lineup and see Pedro successful somewhere else where they need a solid vet at the hot corner.
With our team in such a great position, I don't have any big wishes, most of our wishes are already granted, except to bring in another high-class starting arm, and the only one I respect nearly as much as Halliday is Joel Pinero. Either would greatly solidify the spectacle that is Phillies Basball. Entire coaching staff back next year. 91 days until pitchers and catchers report!!
Also likely to not be on the roster next year, fan fave Matty Stairs just didn't get it done as well or as frequently as we needed him to, so some other big bruiser or strong righty will probably fill his role. Someone like Jason Giambi or Nomar, vets with good plate discipline for pinch hit situations will be pursued and Matt will be offered a minor league contract, if anything. I loved Stairs' two years with the Phils and his Moonshot in L.A. in 2008 will forever be a part of Philadelphia Baseball lore. He should go DH for some underprivileged club and bestow some wisdom on their young sluggers. My guess: Cleavland.
Our back-up catcher is still and always in flux. Chris Coste was never consistent and Paul Bako is older and even more feeble. So Bako is out and we'll be searching for an actually good backup backstop. Yorvit "El Terrible" Torrealba's name has been bandied about, and we all know it would be good to get him in the second string. If nothing else, he beat the hell out of us for the last two seasons. Too bad we've traded off all our catching prospects behind Chooch - Jason Jaramillo is playing in Pittsburgh and Lou Marson is now famously in Cleavland. Bako should probably retire.
Another guy we got no use for is Eric Bruntlett. Sure, his unassisted triple play was awesome, but that is seriously all he did all year. Any given utility man is worth a try, with Jerry Hairston Jr. being the prime dude. He can play well anywhere and is a serious bench threat. Definitely keep Ben Francisco and Gregg Dobbs on the bench and add Hairston, Torealba, and Giambi/Garciaparra and our second string is doing just fine.
With guaranteed starting pitching in Cliff Lee (picking up his 2010 option was GM Amaro's first order of off-season business), Cole Hamels (simply MUST be better next year than last), probable Joe Blanton's status pending possible arbitration (he'll still be a Phillie next year, he's an innings eater), J.A. Happ (let's see if he wins Rookie of the Year... he's possible trade bait), and Jamie Moyer (needs to go to bullpen), and Pedro Martinez not ruled out for a return bid (also must go to bullpen), Amaro has some decisions to make. So, the Blue Jays still wanna trade Roy Halliday. We'd get him for one year (then he's a free agent) and they'd almost certainly want Happ as well as one of our two outfield prospects and somebody thrown in for good measure. Lee, Halliday, Hamels, Blanton and... let's bring up vaunted prospect Kyle Drabek and on paper we'd have the best starting rotation in the major leagues, well worth the trade with a stacked two thirds young outfield, let's make that deal! And if Drabek still needs to marinate, give Kyle Kendrick or Andrew Carpenter the low pressure five spot.
In the bullpen, Lidge will remain, and it is almost impossible for him to not have a better season this year. Madson will be there. We're in talks to bring back Chan Ho Park, who really did do a good job once he was back in the pen. Scott Eyre is a free agent this season and about to undergo elbow surgery to have those "floating bodies" we've all heard so much about removed. He has stated that if he pitches next year, he wants it to be with the Phils, and we would love to have him, as he was the definition of solid all year for us. With Clay Condrey and Chad Durbin both up for arbitration, Amaro will likely have to cut ties with one of them. Most likely Condrey's smaller price tag and consistency will win him the spot, sending Durbin, a Philadelphia bullpen staple, out into the world. J.C. Romero should be up and running, and with wily veterans Moyer and/or Martinez out there, the pen isn't looking so shabby, if everybody does what they're supposed to... Brad Lidge. Nonetheless, we gotta stock up on possible pen arms for Spring Training and see who sifts out, with J.J. Putz coming off a lame year with the lame Mets he could be affordable and a good rebound, and any other mid-level high possible reward type guys should definitely get a look.
Now, our starting lineup... seven eighths of it will be back for sure. Shane Victorino and Carlos Ruiz are arbitration eligible this off season, and if last years players were any indication, Amaro will try and sign these two up for a while before any hearing takes place. Without Myers twelve mil, and this year we finally get to stop paying Adam Eaton and Geoff Jenkins, we can just pay our guys what they want and deserve. Chooch made an astoundingly low $425,000 this year while being absolutely invaluable behind and at the plate. Jayson Werth, Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, and Raul Ibanez all get raises (as does bench-man Greg Dobbs), and will all be happy and ready to win. J-Roll is of course set at short. The only man out is Pedro Feliz at third. The Phils declined his option and bought out his contract, looking to either pay him less, or more likely find someone who can field AND hit. Pete Happy's disgraceful post season was unacceptable, even to me. Los Angeles Angel's speedster Chone Figgins (pronounced Sean) is at the top of the list, but he is a lead off man, and that is not exactly what we need unless J-Roll or Sugar Shane drop to the seven spot. Adrian Beltre is next in line and possibly the best fit. He can field like Feliz and is a big hitter. Even ex-Phillie Placido "Jawbone" Polanco has been mentioned. Either way it'll be cool to get a little bit of new blood in the lineup and see Pedro successful somewhere else where they need a solid vet at the hot corner.
With our team in such a great position, I don't have any big wishes, most of our wishes are already granted, except to bring in another high-class starting arm, and the only one I respect nearly as much as Halliday is Joel Pinero. Either would greatly solidify the spectacle that is Phillies Basball. Entire coaching staff back next year. 91 days until pitchers and catchers report!!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Hussiskunk Punk Radio Top 25
MOST PLAYED ARTISTS
Week Ending 11.08.09
1. Destructors666
2. Jonny Manak And The Depressives
3. Fed Up
4. The Pivot Foots
5. The Chuckies
6. The Headies
7. C.D. Truth
8. Pinhead Gunpowder
9. The Rogue Nations
10. Yesterday's Ring
11. The Dick Panthers
12. Werevilsdare
13. Dirty Boulevard
14. Ellen Degenerate
15. Ese
16. My Son The Bum
17. North Lincoln
18. Revenge Of The Mormons
19. Skinny Dick Jones
20. The Bomb
21. A.F.S.
22. Control
23. Disassociate
24. Fanshen
25. Kamikaze
That is correct! Two Madison Underground artists in Hussiskunk's Top 25, with Tit Patrol coming in at 35 and climbing! (I hope!) Congrats to my fellow Headies (21 spins last week) and Skinny Dick Jones (18 spins last week)! And, most importantly, drop Hussieskunk an email (request@hussieskunk.com) and request your fave Maddy tracks and help us reach the top! May I suggest The Headies - "Super Booty." Thanks everybody!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Hey Yankees...
All is right with the world: the self-righteous have dollar-billed their way to the top, the free-market is triumphant! And we the poor are even more rich in spirit. Like Dem Bums from Brooklyn for all those years, I awake with a tussled 'stache and a steely-eyed, non-stop believement (patent pending) that "we'll get 'em next year." I feel very, very sorry for Yankees fans the world over. It must be tough living in that characterless and sideburnless environment. Yankees fans can be analogized to two siblings, a boy and a girl, raised by a celebrated military man who employs his successful battlefield tactics to home life as well. The boy buys in completely, sure that discipline and tough love are what's best for him because you do not question your commanding officer. He will never rebel because he reaps the rewards of being second in line to this nuclear patriarchy. The tradition of Yankee Blue. He believes in birthrights and so does his sister, spoiled, gorgeous but not beautiful, obnoxious to the world yet celebrated by her clan, herpes then inbreeding. The Yankees are the baseball embodiment of that button-down plastic fantastic Madison Avenue scene, the military-industrial complex, 2.5 children, weedin' out commies as the one's who can't afford to buy a cap. To be clear, it's not really about the money. In baseball, the front office must do anything they can, within the rules, to win, and one way to do that is to throw money at the problem, but I do not begrudge them that. Their big money aquisitions did not beat us. It was homegrown Yankees Jeter, Rivera, and Pettite, that insufferable Johnny Damon, and somber Matsui who got the job done. And for my two cents it was Brad Lidge's blown ninth inning tie in Game 4 that was the crucial loss for the good guys. We were not clutch at the plate (save for CHOOCH) and so they beat us. Still, I wouldn't trade any one of our guys for one of theirs. We win as a team and now we lose as a team, our team, the team I love, that I can not wait to see at Spring Training. But I do love to chew on sour grapes and now I have that oppurtunity. So, in the words of the immortal Tanner Boyle, "Hey Yankees... you can take your apology and your trophy and shove 'em straight up your ass!"
Madison Underground Vigilantism
Could the News Journal and their online counterparts be any more feeble? No. Two nights ago my boy Murph foiled a mugging attempt outside his house in Browntown, and it seems they used stock copy to describe it, they were so off. For one, Murph is no "Good Samaritan" - he hates the bible!
The straight dope is as such: Murph got off work and had shot and a beer at the tavern of his choice, and came back to his cool new pad in the 500 block of South Harrison. His neighbors, two women were talking out on the porch so Murph, social butterfly that he is, was shootin' the breeze with them, when two men approached. One pulled a gun and demanded the three neighbors hand over their cash. Murph chose fight over flight or compliance and swacked the gun from the man's hand and away from the action. A fistfight, or as Murph nonchalantly put it, a "tussle" ensued in the street. Murph took a couple hits but ultimately won the fight with a bottle of Lowenbrau over the assailants head. The crooks took off, managing to get one lady's purse, which for some reason had her pin number in close proximity to her ATM card. It turns out the dudes used it to get three hundo from her account, but guess what? ATM machines ALL have video cameras these days, so they are still in hot water. I asked Murph if he got hurt at all and he responded with a smirk, "I got some scrapes on my knuckles from punching the dude in the face, but that's about it." When asked if he was scared, Murph reflected, "Yeah, but I really didn't have time to think about it. All I kept thinking was 'My mom is gonna kill me.'"
I for one think this is the coolest thing I've heard in quite some time, and confirms what we have suspected for quite some time: Murph is the Batman. So - Three-Two-One-Zero, Let's hear it for Murph, the hero!
Read the News Journal's faux journalistic take online, along with disgustingly racist, right wing comments.
The Good Irishman by Billy Frolic.
The straight dope is as such: Murph got off work and had shot and a beer at the tavern of his choice, and came back to his cool new pad in the 500 block of South Harrison. His neighbors, two women were talking out on the porch so Murph, social butterfly that he is, was shootin' the breeze with them, when two men approached. One pulled a gun and demanded the three neighbors hand over their cash. Murph chose fight over flight or compliance and swacked the gun from the man's hand and away from the action. A fistfight, or as Murph nonchalantly put it, a "tussle" ensued in the street. Murph took a couple hits but ultimately won the fight with a bottle of Lowenbrau over the assailants head. The crooks took off, managing to get one lady's purse, which for some reason had her pin number in close proximity to her ATM card. It turns out the dudes used it to get three hundo from her account, but guess what? ATM machines ALL have video cameras these days, so they are still in hot water. I asked Murph if he got hurt at all and he responded with a smirk, "I got some scrapes on my knuckles from punching the dude in the face, but that's about it." When asked if he was scared, Murph reflected, "Yeah, but I really didn't have time to think about it. All I kept thinking was 'My mom is gonna kill me.'"
I for one think this is the coolest thing I've heard in quite some time, and confirms what we have suspected for quite some time: Murph is the Batman. So - Three-Two-One-Zero, Let's hear it for Murph, the hero!
Read the News Journal's faux journalistic take online, along with disgustingly racist, right wing comments.
The Good Irishman by Billy Frolic.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
The Headies @ Mojo 13 on Friday the 13th
Come out to Mojo 13 on Friday the 13th for more spoooooky fun with yer pals the Headies! Four bands total, but two of which had names far too long to cut out of the News Journal and Wizard Magazine.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
And THAT'S Why They Call Him the Main Man!
Dude, you gotta check these super-sweet Spidey's that the Main Man passed me to help while away my unemployment! He also gave Nikki a sweet "Glee" loser "L"/#1 foam finger (in association with Fox Media). That finger is too big to scan. In honor of the Main Man I'm gonna eat some hot wings.
Season of the Witch
Awesome Halloween show at Paul's house... great music (Hot Toddy and the Wilmington Wastoids, Count von Count), great spread (hummus and cold cuts and all the desserts)! My only regret is that there are no Count von Pics in actions, as I was far too busy rockin' out to their Plow United cover set! Yup! You missed it! And they closed with a Tit Patrol cover! Wastoids shots by Nikki, all others by me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
